stonedsour's Diaryland Diary

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IDIOT'S DICTIONARY

Ironic-

object made completely of iron

King Kong Baggins-

name of lead character in Peter Jackson's upcoming "King Kong" remake

The Blair Witch Project-

science experiment conducted by British Prime Minister Tony Blair

2 Fast 2 Furious-

that's what she said!

Motherfucker-

your biological father

Clockwork Orange-

timepiece made entirely of fruit

The Passion of the Christ-

new cologne from Calvin Klein

Church of Christ-

church who's deed is in Jesus' name

White Zombie-

neo-nazi flesh-eater

Insane Clown Posse-

enraged violent circus clowns

Live wire-

electrical wire performing in front of a live studio audience

Ebony-

porn magazine for impotent people

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life-

yes, they certainly are

The Amityville Horror-

the fear of having to live in New York

Army of Darkness-

collection of my poetry

Cradle of Filth-

newborn baby in need of a bath

Lord of the Rings-

a person with ten or more body piercings

From Dusk 'Til Dawn-

operating hours of a Las Vegas whorehouse

Titanic-

woman with huge breasts

Seabiscuit-

what a sailor eats for lunch

Guns N' Roses-

funeral for a mafia don

Limp Bizkit-

teenager that has to use Viagra

Creepshow-

movie starring Christopher Walken

28 Days Later-

four weeks ago from today

South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

movie in which Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny avoid being circumcized

Texas Chainsaw Massacre-

violent riot in Austin, TX; 12 chainsaws dead, 27 others injured

Full Metal Jacket-

new restraint jacket used in mental hospitals

Suggested name for new Spice Girl:

Old Spice

Due to the overwhelming success of "Freddy Vs. Jason," New Line Cinema has decided to follow it up with three can't miss movies, coming soon to a theatre within your general area:

Freddy Vs. Mrs. Vorhees

Leprechaun Vs. Terminator

Jeffrey Dahmer and John Wayne Gacy

Vs.

Ted Bundy and Judy Garland

The End-

an author's wish for the apocalypse

11:27 p.m. - 2004-09-17

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