stonedsour's Diaryland Diary

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POEMS

Don't know if I've posted these.....

~* Child of Man *~

I am the bastard son you fathered

But even you can't tell me why you bothered

Isolated with without sisters or brothers

Starved, beaten, abused and smothered

But still I just wont die

If anything I have learned to multiply

Cloning myself from hatred and waste

Mangling the chromosomes in my haste

Still searching for the ultimate proof

Swallowing the lies and ignoring the truth

Infiltrating and absorbing the everyday mundane

Disregarding the joy and wallowing in the pain

I hide in the crowds of discontent

Spreading out among the firmament

Taking root in the darkest places

Shadowing the brightest faces

Behind the eyes I lie and breathe

I am constant hunger and consuming need

Like a glutton the more I take

The more I want, a self-replicating mistake

Burrowing deep in the collective psyche

Becoming the lock for which there is no key

I frighten you and your normal kin

A horror grown from your own sin

Proving the words of God I am

In your own image you make a child of man

~* Common Threads*~

She looked up into my eyes

but my eyes saw someone else

and she was looking to the stars

waiting for my heart to melt

She touched my hand

but I felt a distant past

way beyond anything

I thought would ever last

She kissed my lips

but the fire wasn’t there

burning desire

evaporated into thin air

time passed and the moment changed

I was her and she was me

and everything else was the same

fantasy fused with reality

I looked into her eyes

but saw only a passing shadow

looking for a loving soul

I found only an open window

I reached for her hand

but she eluded my grasp

missing her love by inches

reliving the past

I kissed her lips

but the spark was gone

two different people

the timing was all wrong

The same emotions felt at different times

knowing it was something that wasn’t said

standing divided within separate minds

swinging at the opposite ends

...of common threads.

~*Idiot*~

You thought me weak

Some fool without a nerve

With a fetish for royalty

Only wanting to serve

You measure your mistakes

In nations falling to your will

Lose a little to gain a lot

A hole that can never be filled

I am the people you rule

Legion are we

If you forget those you lord over

We just may become your greatest failing

Your interests roam far

As does your eye

You seek infamy

With only those who will obey and comply

The fear you instill

Is not so much fright

As you would dream

In your bed at night

Hope burns in the unlikeliest of places

You are just unaware

And this slight may cause you pain

We are always there

Though you may not see us

And turn a blind eye

We fester like an untended wound

An infected fait accomplai

Your home in which you feel secure

Ignoring the approaching brink

You believe yourself supreme

When revolution is closer than you think

The king of a wasteland

Just on thing you forgot

We are the people ruled

And abused by a complete idiot.

~*Evermore*~

From the castle spires overlooking the castle’s keep

ever-watchful, ever-protective of my flock of sheep

I spend the days tending, tilling my native land

planting and seeding the countryside by my own hand

a dream maker and weaver of tales campfire told

a captive of this place, unaware of its hold

time and again, passing time doesn’t pass

yeasterday and tomorrow, the same as the last

immortal in a day and age throughout the year

I own nothing yet hold everything dear

no desires, no challenges, no aspirations

lack of imagination, lack of inspiration

trapped in the pages of a fairy tale

two dimensions, words against a background so pale

one night, one knight, dragons to slay

damsels to rescue, living, never dying this chivalrous way

turn the page, forward and back

you will find much that I lack

be observant and keep a close eye

though you really don’t have to try

I’ve no life of my own

just a story, a fantasy, stand alone

words on a page, I know the score

trapped here in evermore, forever more.

~*Epic*~

Sometimes it seems as if it is beyond me

My comprehension is not up to speed

I have a burning desire for something more

But I have somehow lost the need

If I could touch you and make you understand

Reach inside you and give you this feeling

Would it help you with your reasoning

Would it make it a little easier in dealing

I laugh at myself but don't find it funny

The joke is quaint and really quite old

The fear you feel is not a symptom

Just as the despair you feel isn't cold

Life isn't fair everyone knows

But still some persist

As if we have some tangible reason

For why we are and why we exist

Sometimes it seems I can't go on anymore

No leads to follow no road to travel

And everything I lay my hand upon

Ceases to be and starts to unravel

Like a blind man alone in the world

No light in my day and certainly none at night

My aspect is ever changing and not for the better

I stumble along hoping I am doing what is right

So who makes the decisions that affect life

Where does the divine diverge from the sin

How do we make choices here and now

At what point do we start and then end

Strange to be conversing with myself

But who else would listen anyway

I speak of things not considered important

To the subsistence of one single day

Sometimes it seems I want to argue and have it out

But life doesn't always work out that way

So the frustration just boils deep down inside

And never seems to fully go away

Magic is an art I could use right about now

A spell to make everything all right

The answer given to everyone

Confused with all their might

The path lit and traveled together

A way out of this hell on demand

That people ignore moment to moment

And genuinely couldn't give a damn

I want to cleanse my soul along with my body

A shower of illusions to wash it off me

Eliminating the slime of murderous undertones

Watching the drain take all my insanity

Sometimes it seems I am quite happy with things

And I know it passes like the seasons

I hold out hope though

That it may have its reasons

To give me fleeting hope

That life may be worth living

And there are those around

Worth the pain of giving

I know one too many who take

Like a void in space

If given the chance

They would take the very smile from my face

Without so much as a how do you do

Or a by your leave

Sucking off my life by the pound

Not even giving me time to bleed

Sometimes it seems I don't know what to say

And the words catch in my throat

Drowning in a sea of indecision

Without coherent thought to keep me afloat

A ghost of a chance

Exorcised without a blessing

Taken from my soul so fast

I have no taste for confessing

That while I am not all bad

I have a few sins in my past

And I would redeem myself

If it didn't happen so fast

But like all things they are gone

As quickly as they are committed

And I wonder again once more

If everything is always permitted

Sometimes it seems that I sound pompous

And a little arrogant I guess you could say

Like I have all the answers

But somehow keep the questions at bay

I see things that happen and then comes my view

Pouring out of my hands without effort

Perhaps seeking association and affirmation

And the attendant warming comfort

I stand on a soapbox for the experience

And bare the stones tossed at me

For having the courage to speak

And the stupidity to believe

That one little man, a solitary fool

Can offer up some monumental resistance

And find some small infinitesimal way

To prove that I too can make a difference

Sometimes it seems that she is the dream

That I happened to have had last night

Then it somehow came true

But is now beyond my sight

A lasting bone taken from my body

A woman with dangerous ways

Made to make me answer for

The prayers I never prayed

A soul like ice that kills without conscience

Thrilling to the millions who fall

Laughing cruelly at the thunderous motion

Of the cattle that answer her call

But then night comes again

And lying down on the same bed

I realize that though I am a simple man

I am by no means yet dead

Sometimes it seems that I am so far removed

From a reality I just can't seem to see

Passing through a life invisible

Without a chance to touch the real me

Who says we live for love or some such

If that is all we needed then

We would feel it once

And never have to look again

We would be changed and forever at peace

No stress to push us onward

No reason to second-guess

What you said and what I heard

But life isn't so nicely tied up

And the ribbons and bows

Seems to tangle around our necks

And drag us into the shadows

Sometimes it seems I wonder why it never ends

Like this poem it goes on and on

But the reasons fail to keep pace

With what has already gone

So it makes little sense to explain

That maybe there is something here

A little hope and charity and clarity

A little string of passion tinged with fear

That if but one person gets release

Or salvation or loss of desperation in the night

From the words lying here on this page

Then that is the reason why I write

Just that one small ray of hope

Others might overlook and forget

When reading a lot of feelings rambled on

That has become an unintended epic.

7:19 p.m. - 2004-09-18

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