stonedsour's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- POEMS Don't know if I've posted these..... ~* Child of Man *~ I am the bastard son you fathered But even you can't tell me why you bothered Isolated with without sisters or brothers Starved, beaten, abused and smothered But still I just wont die If anything I have learned to multiply Cloning myself from hatred and waste Mangling the chromosomes in my haste Still searching for the ultimate proof Swallowing the lies and ignoring the truth Infiltrating and absorbing the everyday mundane Disregarding the joy and wallowing in the pain I hide in the crowds of discontent Spreading out among the firmament Taking root in the darkest places Shadowing the brightest faces Behind the eyes I lie and breathe I am constant hunger and consuming need Like a glutton the more I take The more I want, a self-replicating mistake Burrowing deep in the collective psyche Becoming the lock for which there is no key I frighten you and your normal kin A horror grown from your own sin Proving the words of God I am In your own image you make a child of man ~* Common Threads*~ She looked up into my eyes but my eyes saw someone else and she was looking to the stars waiting for my heart to melt She touched my hand but I felt a distant past way beyond anything I thought would ever last She kissed my lips but the fire wasn’t there burning desire evaporated into thin air time passed and the moment changed I was her and she was me and everything else was the same fantasy fused with reality I looked into her eyes but saw only a passing shadow looking for a loving soul I found only an open window I reached for her hand but she eluded my grasp missing her love by inches reliving the past I kissed her lips but the spark was gone two different people the timing was all wrong The same emotions felt at different times knowing it was something that wasn’t said standing divided within separate minds swinging at the opposite ends ...of common threads. ~*Idiot*~ You thought me weak Some fool without a nerve With a fetish for royalty Only wanting to serve You measure your mistakes In nations falling to your will Lose a little to gain a lot A hole that can never be filled I am the people you rule Legion are we If you forget those you lord over We just may become your greatest failing Your interests roam far As does your eye You seek infamy With only those who will obey and comply The fear you instill Is not so much fright As you would dream In your bed at night Hope burns in the unlikeliest of places You are just unaware And this slight may cause you pain We are always there Though you may not see us And turn a blind eye We fester like an untended wound An infected fait accomplai Your home in which you feel secure Ignoring the approaching brink You believe yourself supreme When revolution is closer than you think The king of a wasteland Just on thing you forgot We are the people ruled And abused by a complete idiot. ~*Evermore*~ From the castle spires overlooking the castle’s keep ever-watchful, ever-protective of my flock of sheep I spend the days tending, tilling my native land planting and seeding the countryside by my own hand a dream maker and weaver of tales campfire told a captive of this place, unaware of its hold time and again, passing time doesn’t pass yeasterday and tomorrow, the same as the last immortal in a day and age throughout the year I own nothing yet hold everything dear no desires, no challenges, no aspirations lack of imagination, lack of inspiration trapped in the pages of a fairy tale two dimensions, words against a background so pale one night, one knight, dragons to slay damsels to rescue, living, never dying this chivalrous way turn the page, forward and back you will find much that I lack be observant and keep a close eye though you really don’t have to try I’ve no life of my own just a story, a fantasy, stand alone words on a page, I know the score trapped here in evermore, forever more. ~*Epic*~ Sometimes it seems as if it is beyond me My comprehension is not up to speed I have a burning desire for something more But I have somehow lost the need If I could touch you and make you understand Reach inside you and give you this feeling Would it help you with your reasoning Would it make it a little easier in dealing I laugh at myself but don't find it funny The joke is quaint and really quite old The fear you feel is not a symptom Just as the despair you feel isn't cold Life isn't fair everyone knows But still some persist As if we have some tangible reason For why we are and why we exist Sometimes it seems I can't go on anymore No leads to follow no road to travel And everything I lay my hand upon Ceases to be and starts to unravel Like a blind man alone in the world No light in my day and certainly none at night My aspect is ever changing and not for the better I stumble along hoping I am doing what is right So who makes the decisions that affect life Where does the divine diverge from the sin How do we make choices here and now At what point do we start and then end Strange to be conversing with myself But who else would listen anyway I speak of things not considered important To the subsistence of one single day Sometimes it seems I want to argue and have it out But life doesn't always work out that way So the frustration just boils deep down inside And never seems to fully go away Magic is an art I could use right about now A spell to make everything all right The answer given to everyone Confused with all their might The path lit and traveled together A way out of this hell on demand That people ignore moment to moment And genuinely couldn't give a damn I want to cleanse my soul along with my body A shower of illusions to wash it off me Eliminating the slime of murderous undertones Watching the drain take all my insanity Sometimes it seems I am quite happy with things And I know it passes like the seasons I hold out hope though That it may have its reasons To give me fleeting hope That life may be worth living And there are those around Worth the pain of giving I know one too many who take Like a void in space If given the chance They would take the very smile from my face Without so much as a how do you do Or a by your leave Sucking off my life by the pound Not even giving me time to bleed Sometimes it seems I don't know what to say And the words catch in my throat Drowning in a sea of indecision Without coherent thought to keep me afloat A ghost of a chance Exorcised without a blessing Taken from my soul so fast I have no taste for confessing That while I am not all bad I have a few sins in my past And I would redeem myself If it didn't happen so fast But like all things they are gone As quickly as they are committed And I wonder again once more If everything is always permitted Sometimes it seems that I sound pompous And a little arrogant I guess you could say Like I have all the answers But somehow keep the questions at bay I see things that happen and then comes my view Pouring out of my hands without effort Perhaps seeking association and affirmation And the attendant warming comfort I stand on a soapbox for the experience And bare the stones tossed at me For having the courage to speak And the stupidity to believe That one little man, a solitary fool Can offer up some monumental resistance And find some small infinitesimal way To prove that I too can make a difference Sometimes it seems that she is the dream That I happened to have had last night Then it somehow came true But is now beyond my sight A lasting bone taken from my body A woman with dangerous ways Made to make me answer for The prayers I never prayed A soul like ice that kills without conscience Thrilling to the millions who fall Laughing cruelly at the thunderous motion Of the cattle that answer her call But then night comes again And lying down on the same bed I realize that though I am a simple man I am by no means yet dead Sometimes it seems that I am so far removed From a reality I just can't seem to see Passing through a life invisible Without a chance to touch the real me Who says we live for love or some such If that is all we needed then We would feel it once And never have to look again We would be changed and forever at peace No stress to push us onward No reason to second-guess What you said and what I heard But life isn't so nicely tied up And the ribbons and bows Seems to tangle around our necks And drag us into the shadows Sometimes it seems I wonder why it never ends Like this poem it goes on and on But the reasons fail to keep pace With what has already gone So it makes little sense to explain That maybe there is something here A little hope and charity and clarity A little string of passion tinged with fear That if but one person gets release Or salvation or loss of desperation in the night From the words lying here on this page Then that is the reason why I write Just that one small ray of hope Others might overlook and forget When reading a lot of feelings rambled on That has become an unintended epic. 7:19 p.m. - 2004-09-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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